Name That Script: Joaquin Phoenix

Name That Script: Joaquin Phoenix

A challenge met by: Witney Seibold, Based on an idea by Richard Ortiz and Artie Mora

The challenger: Richard Ortiz

The Actor: Joaquin Phoenix

joaquin_phoenix_03.jpg

The five films:

“Spacecamp”

”The Village”

“Quills”

”Gladiator”

”Walk the Line”

Johnny Cash and the Marquis de Sade Hoo boy.

In a small isolated village, surrounded by woods, lives the Marquis de Sade. He has been thrown in prison after violating many of the villages residents. He would torture them and rape them, and, in a bizarre fit of fancy, force them to compete in gladiatorial tourneys. The villagers had been afraid to flee the Marquis wrath because the woods are populated by wicked beasties that would eat them. The agreement is that no one is to enter the woods, and no one will be eaten.

Only one man has survived all of the Marquis tortures, a noble and hard-working swordsman nicknamed Maximus. Now that the Marquis is in prison, Maximus has become the mayor of this village. The Marquis is slightly peeved that this Maximus fellow has survived this whole time, and, out of spite, is trying to publish dirty stories out of his prison cell.

Luckily, the Marquis has a helper in the prisons laundry wench, a virgin fascinated by his stories. The laundry wench sneaks manuscripts out of the prison, and takes them to the villages one publisher.

The Marquis knows the villages secret, though: that there are actually no beasts in the woods, and the year is a much later date than the villagers think. He is not the actual Marquis de Sade, but a modern man who has only been able to escape the world by pretending. The Marquis sees that his stories are not enough to piss off this foolish Maximus, and wants to bring down the entire village. The Marquis pleads that the laundry wench brave the woods to get his stories published on a much larger scale, knowing that she will stumble into a vast world

The laundry wench does brave the woods, scales a wall, and finds herself in mid-1960sAmerica. She is astonished by the large noisy machines, huge unusual structures, and screechy loud music. She does, however, like the calm stylings of this one deep-voiced country-style singer.

She wanders across the land, manuscript in hand, until she comes upon a large technological complex of some sort. It is a NASA headquarters. The people in the compound are all in a panic, as the mission they are monitoring is going haywire. The laundry wench is accidentally, amidst a crowd, hurried into the complexs center where she sees, on large video monitors, a group of kids in a large ship of some sort. They are all floating. They are not safe. Something is wrong. She overhears that they are running out of air, and none of the kids know what to do, as they are not experienced crewmembers.

The wench knows little of things nautical, but suggests that they simply sail for a friendly port. The NASA people take this comment to mean that the kids should refuel and get air from a friendly space station, and they manage to do just that. And just in time. The people ask the wench what she would like as a reward, as she clearly does not work for NASA, and wouldnt be getting paid for her suggestion. She simply asks that they publish the manuscripts she is carrying, and perhaps give her sheet music of that wonderful-sounding singer she heard.

They agree to publish her manuscript under the name of the Marquis de Sade (even though hes been dead for a while), and track down a recording of the music of Johnny Cash. The wench also asks for directions back to her village, which are happily provided. The people explain that she should look for Johnny Cash in person, as where she emerged from her village is where he once got lost on his way to June Carters house. Cash, most people seem to think, was drunk and drove off the road. The wench thanks them all, and returns to her village.

The wench returns to the village, and shares with everyone stories of the kind people she met, and her luck in avoiding the monsters in the woods. She shows everyone the recording of Johnny Cash, but no one knows what it is or how to play it. Everyone is fascinated by the outside world, and begin to plead with Maximus if they too may, in a group, brave the woods and meet some of these kind people and hear the music of Johnny Cash.

Maximus then extracts a guitar, begins plucking, and sings for them Ring of Fire! It turns out that he is Johnny Cash, who did indeed get lost on his way to June Carters house, found this isolated village, and was enslaved by the Marquis de Sade. Everyone loves his music.

There is still, however, the issue of the Marquis. He is pleased that his writings are getting published out in the modern world, but he is still in the village prison. Maximus/Johnny Cash confronts him, and explains that he is too dangerous, delusional, and just plain evil to be entrusted to the modern-day American justice system, and forces him to stay in the village prison. The Marquis de Sade explains that people will miss him, and is outraged. His voice will not be heard, and he will die in prison.

Maximus/Johnny Cash returns to the world, searching for June, his one true love. The wench becomes the new ruler of the village, allowing people to occasionally return to the outside world to get more Johnny Cash records. The kids who were in peril back at NASA land safely.

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Published in: on February 7, 2008 at 10:55 pm  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. This plot is the Joaquin Phoenix movie to end all Joaquin Phoenix movie .It is the perfect film for people who can’t or don’t feel like watching every motion picture he ever made.


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