The Apple

Unintended Genius

Film essay by: Witney Seibold


“I’ve just found the worst movie of all time. My brain seizes at the memory. This is not your average everyday New Wave sci-fi Biblical allegory musical. No, this is a very special New Wave sci-fi Biblical allegory musical–I mean ‘special’ in the sense of the Special Olympics. This movie resists summary–like an unexpected car-crash, it leaves you with nothing but fragmented impressions. What happened? What the hell did I just see?”-EFilmCritic 


Published in: on May 25, 2007 at 9:38 pm  Comments (1)  


Truth at 24 fps

An essay by: Witney Seibold


“Film is truth at 24 frames per second”


           -Jean-Luc Godard 





“I don’t like anything Japanese.”


“But dad, you liked ‘Rashomon.’”


“That’s not the way I remember it.”


            -Dialogue from “The Simpsons”


Published in: on May 25, 2007 at 9:31 pm  Comments (1)  



An essay by: Witney Seibold


            It’s difficult for many modern audiences to connect with silent film. We’re used to a brand of slick, talky pseudo-realist melodrama, and have difficulty absorbing the bombastic acting and superobvious hyper-melodrama of the silent era. I have watched silent films with jaded classmates and inexperienced film-watchers and have observed snickers and disinterest at some of the bulging eyes, florid gesticulations, and grotesque mugging.


Published in: on May 25, 2007 at 9:26 pm  Leave a Comment  

M. Hulot’s Holiday

The Gentle Art of Peoplewatching

An essay by: Witney Seibold


            I once saw a tow truck towing a tow truck. It was extraordinary.


Published in: on May 25, 2007 at 9:21 pm  Leave a Comment  

Fight Club

The Myth of Masculinity

An essay by: Witney Seibold

“It’s a hard, hard time to be a man.  
We try to be as senstive as we can.           
We gotta piss, grunt, smoke, sweat, fart, and flex,           
And think of something other than sex.           
 Good lord!           
Think of something other than sex.”           

                -The Foremen, “Hard Time to Be a Man.

Published in: on May 25, 2007 at 9:10 pm  Leave a Comment  

Fast, Cheap & Out of Control

Walking Truth

An essay by: Witney Seibold


Where does truth lie?

Better question to start with: where does genius lie?


Published in: on May 25, 2007 at 9:03 pm  Leave a Comment  



Film review by: Witney Seibold



            It’s the 1970s, and a small group of clamdiggers, a near-forgotten profession, are trying desperately to combat the oncoming obsolescence of their job brought on by a mega-corporation moving in on their territory. They all come from long lines of clamdiggers, and know no other world. In fact Hunt’s father has just died, buried in his wading boots. To cope with the inevitable extinction, Hunt (Paul Rudd) takes up his camera again, and flirts with a local possibly-too-young-for-him girl (Lauren Ambrose). Jack (Ron Eldard) continues his habit of seducing anything with breasts, including Hunt’s sister Gina (Maura Tierney). Cons (Josh Hamilton) broods a lot and takes drugs, and Lozo (screenwriter Ken Marino, known for his work on “The State”) yells at his wife and kids more than he usually would.

Published in: on May 25, 2007 at 8:57 pm  Leave a Comment