Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

Film review by: Witney Seibold     

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“’Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters,’ huh? That sounds kinda funny. What is it?”   

         “Um… Are you a fan of the show?”           

“There was a show?”           

“Uh, yeah, it’s on the Cartoon Network after hours.”           

 “So what’s it about?”           

“…”           

“What’s wrong?”           

“Um… Well… It’s about the quest of a talking milkshake, a talking box of french fries, and a talking wad of meat as they try to find their parents.”           

“…No seriously.”           

“You’re not familiar with the show at all?”           

“Not at all.”           

“It was the show that had those ads in Boston that everyone thought were bombs.”           

“Oh yeah, I remember that.”           

“Yeah. Thy were ads for ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force.’”           

“…I see.”           

“Are you a stoner?”           

“I’m sorry?”           

“How much marijuana do you smoke on a regular basis?”           

“Um… why do you ask?”           

“Don’t worry, I’m not a cop or anything.”           

“O.k. In that case, I don’t smoke much. Maybe a bowl every three months.”           

“Sorry. Not enough. Try ‘Spider-Man 3’ or that pirate movie. You wouldn’t like ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters.’”           

“I think I’ll give it a try anyway. ‘Shrek’ was sold out.”           

“O.k. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

(After the film) “So, what did you think of the movie?”           

 

“Can’t… speak… Brain… not… functioning…”           

“You don’t look so good. You need me to call a doctor? Shrink?”           

“Gzz…”           

“Don’t worry, this is normal. Sit here and breathe into this paper bag.”           

“Flk dok…”           

“I did warn you.”           

“Food… threatening me with a linoleum knife… Neal Peart drumming meat back to life… Insanoflex destroying town… plot makes no sense… Robotic Ghost of Christmas Past…”           

“Yeah, they were trying to find their true parents. The immortal exercise equipment is pretty self-explanatory. The stuff at the beginning with Abe Lincoln and the wooden rocket was from the show’s credit sequence. The little squarey alien guys – Mooninites – were really popular on the show, and the aliens with the points were kinda funny on there too.”           

“Brrrph…”           

“I don’t really know what Neal Peart or the watermelon alien had to do with anything, but the evil doctor guy with the stolen muscles was also from the show. He would appear at the beginning of every episode, but would never interact with Frylock or the others. ”           

“Orp orp orp…”           

“And the annoyed neighbor guy would show up all the time as well. Master Shake would often swim in his above-ground pool without asking. Those guys you saw briefly in space were from another Cartoon Network show called ‘Space ghost Coast to Coast’ which gave an awkwardly paced talk-show style series to an obscure Hanna-Barbera superhero cartoon character. Some of the people involved in that made this movie. That should give you an idea of where this movie is coming from.”           

“Watermelon?”           

“Just breathe deeply.”           

(Breathing deeply) “Thenkyu… I’m beginning to think again…”           

“Did you laugh at all?”           

“Don’t remember.”           

“Next time you want to see the film, gather a large group of friends, perhaps get some THC in your system, drink a high-end non-American beer, take a deep breath, and just let the film happen to you.”           

“No. Not ever… again…”           

“You’re just experience some regular cognitive dissonance. Don’t worry. Your mind is now prepared for new experiences. You can go new places now.”           

“The world doesn’t make any sense.”           

“That’s normal. But, again, I did warn you.”           

“Explain it to me again?”           

“I can’t. I don’t think anyone can properly.”           

“So what do I do with this movie in my brain?”           

“You accept it as part of you. Smile, nod, and decide if it’s your kind of humor.”           

“…O.k. Um… Can I get back to you on that?”           

“See you tomorrow, so you can watch it again.” 

            The movie “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters” is rated “R” for some naughty language and sex references. It was made by all the people involved with the show (Matt Maierello, Dave Willis, Dana Snyder, Carey Means, et al), and had some odd voice cameos whom you would not recognize (Bruce Campbell, Chris Kattan, Tina Fey, and the real Neal Peart from Rush).

 

            Is it for you? You already know.

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Published in: on May 21, 2007 at 8:43 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. when did this movie come out?

    • It was released in American theaters in mid-April, 2007. Its run was, sadly, brief.


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