“Vertigo” and S&M

Dom Seeks Sub
An essay by Witney Seibold

            It was during a recent viewing of Shakespeare’s “As You Like It” that I got to explain the dynamic of a typical S&M relationship to a previously uninitiated. Don’t worry; she was over 18, so I wasn’t trampling out any last flame of innocence.

Sinbad, Legend of the Seven Seas

Sinbad, Legend of the Seven Seas
Film review by: Witney Seibold

            The elements: classical story and characters. Colorful palate. Love triangle. Action set-pieces. A few giant monsters. And an abandonment of any source material in order to provide these things. In other words, “Sinbad, Legend of the Seven Seas,” the new animated adventure film from DreamWorks, fits embarrassingly well into the spot usually reserved for Disney’s ultraformula films.

Whale Rider

Whale Rider
Film Review by: Witney Seibold

            It is part of the Maori culture to be displaced.

The Eye (2003)

Pop Cornea
Film review by: Witney Seibold

            “The Eye,” the new Hong Kong thriller from The Pang Brothers (Danny and Oxide), is the latest film in Asia’s horror/thriller revival that started with the success of Japan’s “Ringu” (and its sequel, and prequel, and American remake) in 1998. In this revival, from what I have observed, the films’ fulcrums are less violence and grotesquerie and giddy sickening thrill, and more striking images and a colder spooky feeling of dread; they’re the only films in which the ghosts move slowly.

Bruce Almighty

Bruce Almighty
Film review by: Witney Seibold

            Regardless of your spiritual, religious, or theological stance on the world, I think it can be agreed that God, as seen in Hollywood blandmeister Tom Shadyac’s comedy “Bruce Almighty,” is the ideal form of how the pop-contemporary secular world views Him/Her. God is seen as a kindly old guy who just has a really stressful job, but can keep His cool under pressure, and take time to teach oversimplified life lessons to people like Bruce (Jim Carrey). Like a cosmic guidance councilor, God sits up in heaven dispensing advice, and occasionally performing miracles. He’s less like what Christ and Mohammed talked about, and a little more like Yoda.

The In-Laws (2003)

The In-Laws (2003)
Film review by: Witney Seibold

            To its credit, Andrew Fleming’s new comedy “The In-Laws” does have a few slight improvements to the usual Wedding Comedy. For one, it’s a Jewish wedding, and we briefly glimpse a female rabbi. There’s also a part in it for Robin Tunney who, while having made other crappy movies in her day (“End of Days” springs to mind), is able to keep dignity, and bring a shred of integrity to the otherwise dull proceedings. O.k. Maybe those aren’t stellar improvements, but at least they’re differences enough to make “The In-Laws” stand out. O.k. O.k. “The In-Laws” doesn’t stand out. It’s a mediocre comedy that wastes the talents of the people involved.

The Shape of Things

The Shape of Things
Film review by: Witney Seibold

            Smarter than they are wise, the characters from Neil LaBute’s “The Shape of Things” are all profoundly flawed people.