RocknRolla

RocknRolla

Film review by: Witney Seibold

 

            Lenny Cole (Tom Wilkinson) is a high-roller in the London underworld. He makes his money by lending money to people who want to buy land he already owns, and then stealing it back before they can buy said property, then deamind that they come up with the money anyway. That way he has his own money, his own land, and the money the poor borrowers have to pay back. Easy.

 

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Film review by: Witney Seibold

 

 

            I have heard many interviews with Kevin Smith, and he has admitted, time and again, that he knows nothing about directing. While he is a film buff; he loved the films of Richard Linklater growing up, and is one of the more open admirers of the “Star Wars” movies, he never attended film school, and has never read any books on film directing.

Changeling

Changeling

Film review by: Witney Seibold

 

            It may have to do with the fact that he’s 78 years old, but there’s something grandly old-fashioned about Clint Eastwood’s directing.

Snow Angels

Snow Angels

Film review by: Witney Seibold

 

 

            David Gordon Green is a lyric poet working in the medium of cinema. He has the knack of natural quiet kitchen-sink human suffering and miscommunication of John Cassavetes, but without the shrillness.

Be Kind Rewind

Be Kind Rewind

Film review by: Witney Seibold

 

 

            One time – a long, long time ago – one could watch motion pictures in their homes using primitive devices called VCRs. “VCR” stand for Video Cassette Recorder. They were like the current-day Tivo device, but required special plastic cartridges full of spooled magnetic tape.

Redline (2007)

Redline

Film review by: Witney Seibold

 

            Nadia Bjorlin has huge blue eyes, a beautiful olive complexion, and breasts of steel.

W.

W.

Film review by: Witney Seibold

 

Would you buy a used war from this man?

            A drunken fratboy from Texas managed to get into some Ivy-League schools with the aid of his rich, blueblood father. He spent most of his youth getting into trouble with the law. He couldn’t hold down a job, from a lowly oil rig worker to commissioner of a local baseball team. Dad was a politician, his younger brother was a politician, so he decided to become a politician too. He married an understanding lady, found Jesus, and managed to become elected to the presidency, where he could continue, and perhaps outdo, his father’s legacy.

            I know. Farfetched story, right?

Lola Montès

Lola Montès

Film review by: Witney Seibold

 

            Ladies and gentlemen! Lola Montès (Martine Carol) is the star attraction here at the Parisian circus! O, the life she has lived!

Good Dick

Good Dick

Film review by: Witney Seibold

 

            An unnamed man (Jason Ritter) works at a video store (CineFile Video) with his best friends (Martin Starr from the Apatow factory, friendly bear Eric Edelstein, and clueless Mark Webber). He doesn’t seem to have a real home; he sleeps in his car. He is a recovering addict.

Choke

Choke

Film review by: Witney Seibold

 

            I’ll open with a bit of a spoiler, but nothing that will give away any major plot developments, so be warned.