Teeth
Teeth
Film review by: Witney Seibold
“Teeth” is a film about a teenage girl, living deep in Bible Belt Texas, and having just taken a leading position in her local teen chastity program, who learns that she has razor-sharp teeth in her vagina. Yes, this is a film about the ancient myth of vagina dentata, that old story that taps into males’ fears of a) losing their penis/potency/strength, and b) females expressing their sexuality in general. I spoke to many young film students about this movie, and they were upset that it was writer/director Mitchell Lichtenstein and not them who got to finally make the vagina dentata movie. Evidently, the world was asking for one.
Let me assure you, “Teeth” is not an exploitative “gimmick” horror/comedy film. It’s an incredibly well-written and well-acted “gimmick” horror/comedy film. I may go so far as to call it one of the best films of the year. In addition to tapping into the above-mentioned fears in a very savvy way, it also manages to incorporate the complicated mix-up feeling of female adolescence (why are all the boys suddenly paying so much attention to my vagina?), the function of chastity, the mixture of exhilaration and guilt that accompanies one’s burgeoning sexuality, and some genuinely funny vagina jokes.
The lead actress, Jess Weixler, plays the character of Dawn as an innocent who seems to know that she wants to have sex, but wears a red ring to indicate she wants to wait until marriage. And she genuinely does want to wait. She lives next to two looming nuclear cooling towers that may account for her mutation, but is more likely just the thing responsible for her mother’s debilitating illnesses. She lives with her mom, stepdad (Lenny von Dohlen) and her troll-like step-brother (John Hensley) who never leaves his bedroom/cave with his not-girlfriend girlfriend (Julia Garro).
Dawn and one of her classmates Tobey (Hale Appleman) have been making eyes at each other, and while they both love that chastity message of the church, they also seem to having a lot of impure thoughts lately. She takes him on a date to the local swimming hole, and they kiss a few times. In a really sweet way. They go into the makeout grotto, he makes advances, she says she’s not ready. He won’t take no for an answer, and Dawn’s body retaliates by taking the offending part of Tobey that got him into so much trouble.
The first time was an accident.
There are a few more victims along the way. A lecherous gynecologist (Josh Pais), and a classmate who inadvertently pisses her off (Ashley Spinger), both feel her wrath. Eventually she starts to use her body purposefully to wreak a vengeance on males everywhere. And what adolescent girl has not thought of this power at some point in their lives? The males Dawn meets are all, pretty much without exception, horny lecherous assholes who only want to use her body. Is this unfair to men? As a male, I can say no. At the risk of sounding clichéd, men often approach women merely as sex objects. So what’s a girl to do when she finds she is, without trying, a sex object? Why bite off the thing that wants her, of course.
But I don’t want the film to sound like a dull essay on power dynamics and Freudian hysteria with gore added. “Teeth” is actually mostly bright and funny and wicked and smart. The double-entendres work perfectly, and the performances are all dead-on. I look forward to seeing Weixler and Lichtenstein make more movies.
Film review by: Witney Seibold
