Run, Fatboy, Run
Run, Fatboy, Run
Film review by: Witney Seibold
“Run, Fatboy, Run” is a typical sitcom movie full of contrived characters and hackneyed moments, and even that ancient film trope: the training montage. Read more »
Drawing Restraint 9
Drawing Restraint 9
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Werner Herzog once said that even in its short history, film is already running out of images. Matthew Barney, while not necessarily giving us typical dramas, is at least giving us things we haven’t seen anywhere before.
Silent Hill
Silent Hill
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Silent Hill has the same synopsizing problems as films like Domino or Dreamcatcher. i.e. you begin to explain the plot to a friend, thinking it’s going to be a simple task, but your explanation begins to stretch into this epic and Wagnerian storytelling mission; the longer you take, the stronger it dawns on you how much nonsense you are spewing. Read more »
The Sentinel
The Sentinel
Film review by: Witney Seibold
It was hard for me to watch Clark “S.W.A.T.” Johnson’s The Sentinel without thinking of 24 the entire time; they are both political terrorist thrillers, they both star Kiefer Sutherland as a hard-nosed, no-nonsense special agent, both feature wrongful accusations, cover-ups, and people committing small crimes that make them seem guilty of the larger one. Read more »
Water
Water
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Deepa Mehta’s darling of the festival circuit, Water, has finally hit screens accessible to us common folk. Read more »
The Counterfeiters
The Counterfeiters
Film review by: Witney Seibold
The old joke goes that if you want to win an Academy Award, make a film about World War II. Be sure to focus on how horrible it was.
Art School Confidential
Art School Confidential
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Director Terry Zwigoff and screenwriter/comicbook author Daniel Clowes made Ghost World in 2001, and it was one of the best films of the year. Read more »
An American Haunting
An American Haunting
Film review by: Witney Seibold
An American Haunting is a profoundly stupid film. Read more »
The Da Vinci Code
The Da Vinci Code
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Count me among the minority of Americans who have not read Dan Brown’s mega-smash The Da Vinci Code. After mucking my way through most of Umberto Eco’s Foucault’s Pendulum, I wasn’t interested in yet another pulp thriller about tight-fisted scholars running about Europe trying to interpret ancient symbols before the Bad Guys do. Read more »
See No Evil (2006)
See No Evil
Film review by: Witney Seibold
In the last issue of this fine publication, I presented a review of An American Haunting, which I was convinced was one of the worst films of the year. I have found one worse still. Read more »
About the author.
When Witney Seibold was about 10 years old, he got in trouble for spitting on a new car. Witney wants his teachers and classmates to know that he was not a mean-spirited or unhappy child, and only did this to make his fellow classmates laugh. His classmates were, you see all merely pretending to spit on the line of new cars they were walking by, and Witney thought he could do them one better by actually doing it.
When thinking back on it, he realizes that some poor schmo working at the new car lot would have had to clean his spit off of the car. He apologizes to his classmates (who probably were more shocked than amused), his teacher (who was certainly not at all amused), and especially the unseen car lot attendant, armed with the Windex and paper towels, who was probably cursing his job as he had to lean over and touch a stranger’s saliva. I’m very sorry.
