The Illusionist
The Illusionist
Film review by: Witney Seibold
“The Illusionist” gives a modern, almost realist sensibility to Shakespearean plot elements. Read more »
The Quiet
The Quiet
Film review by: Witney Seibold
It’s a chamber drama straight out of Jackie Collins: Read more »
Beowulf
Beowulf
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Robert Zemeckis’ new cartoon film “Beowulf,” with its loud speechifying, campy monster sex, naked grudge matches and penis jokes, plays almost like a satire of the top-heavy sword-and-sandal films of old (and which seem to be making a comeback with this year’s “300”). But the dreary tone, somber acting, and use of cutting-edge animation (including a few selected cities with 3-D productions) belie any humor. So the entire affair, while initially prompting snickers (and a few people, myself especially, were snickering at my screening), eventually bogs itself down into a dull thudding spectacle film that any American teenager has already seen at least fifty times in their lives.
Volver
Volver
Film review by: Witney Seibold
In the small town of Alcanfor in Spain, the dead don’t seem to stay dead. Read more »
Southland Tales
Southland Tales
Film review by: Witney Seibold
“Southland Tales” is like watching a dump truck full of vomit exploding in slow motion. Read more »
Smiley Face
Smiley Face
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Gregg Araki has finally grown up with his stoner comedy “Smiley Face.” Read more »
Lust, Caution
Lust, Caution
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Shanghai, 1939, during the Japanese occupation. A pretty young student named Wang Jiazhi (Wei Tang) falls in with a group of actors interested in political plays. Read more »
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
Film review by: Witney Seibold
A robbery is committed, and it is botched.
Rendition
Rendition
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Y’know what I liked about “Rendition?” I liked how non-topical it was.
Sharkwater
Sharkwater
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Sharks, thanks largely to the movie “Jaws,” are seen as horrifying monsters of the deep that do nothing more than stalk and eat people. People look at their creepy faces and see malevolent intent. People look at their jagged, knife-like teeth and see tools of destruction eager to be used.
About the author.
When Witney Seibold was about 10 years old, he got in trouble for spitting on a new car. Witney wants his teachers and classmates to know that he was not a mean-spirited or unhappy child, and only did this to make his fellow classmates laugh. His classmates were, you see all merely pretending to spit on the line of new cars they were walking by, and Witney thought he could do them one better by actually doing it.
When thinking back on it, he realizes that some poor schmo working at the new car lot would have had to clean his spit off of the car. He apologizes to his classmates (who probably were more shocked than amused), his teacher (who was certainly not at all amused), and especially the unseen car lot attendant, armed with the Windex and paper towels, who was probably cursing his job as he had to lean over and touch a stranger’s saliva. I’m very sorry.
