Tokyo Story
What We Don’t Say
A film essay by: Witney Seibold
The journey on the road of cinema, if traveled long enough, will eventually lead you to the greats. Read more »
Resident Evil: Extinction
Resident Evil: Extinction
Film review by: Witney Seibold
The previous film in the “Resident Evil” series was subtitled “Apocalypse.” This one is subtitled “Extinction.” Following that throughline, if there is (heaven forbid) a fourth film in this series, the inevitable title will be “Resident Evil: O.k., The Earth Just Blows Up.”
Inland Empire
Inland Empire
Film review by: Witney Seibold
“I can’t tell if it’s yesterday or tomorrow, and it’s a real mindfuck.”
-Laura Dern in “Inland Empire”
Dreamgirls
Dreamgirls
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Bill Condon has a deep love of musicals and musical theater. He wrote Rob Marshall’s “Chicago,” loved by the Academy and most of the world, although not by me. He loves bright lights, loud music, and dramatic bombast, usually only found on the stage. Read more »
Children of Men
Children of Men
Film review by: Witney Seibold
In 2027, women have become barren. No one knows why, and, at this point, no one much cares anymore. Read more »
Across the Universe
Across the Universe
Film review by: Witney Seibold
I recently wrote an essay on Shakespeare in film, and I cited Julie Taymor’s first feature “Titus” as a triumph of the genre. Taymor is a talented director, and an endlessly creative designer. Read more »
Shoot ‘Em Up
Shoot ‘Em Up
Film review by: Witney Seibold
“Fuck you, you fucking fucker.”
-Mr. Smith (Clive Owen) in “Shoot ‘Em Up”
Venus
Venus
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Any television or theatrical previews you may have seen for “Venus,” would have you believe it’s another delightful droll British romantic comedy along the lines of, say, “Love, Actually.” See the octogenarian and the twentysomething fall in love! See how he teaches her small pieces of wisdom, and she brings him new life! Read more »
3:10 to Yuma
3:10 to Yuma
Film review by: Witney Seibold
I have to state right away that I have notoriously been unable to enjoy most westerns. Read more »
Pan’s Labyrinth
Pan’s Labyrinth
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Guillermo Del Toro’s “Pan’s Labyrinth” is a fantasy film for adults; a film that has the usual fantasy trappings of mazes and monsters and spells and intricate insular rules that the heroine must follow or else be killed/eaten/denied her rightful place on the throne, and combines them with the harsh realities of coping with a new family, budding sexuality, clinging desperately onto one’s own childhood, and, biggest of all, facing the violence of real-life war. It is one of the best films of 2006.
About the author.
When Witney Seibold was about 10 years old, he got in trouble for spitting on a new car. Witney wants his teachers and classmates to know that he was not a mean-spirited or unhappy child, and only did this to make his fellow classmates laugh. His classmates were, you see all merely pretending to spit on the line of new cars they were walking by, and Witney thought he could do them one better by actually doing it.
When thinking back on it, he realizes that some poor schmo working at the new car lot would have had to clean his spit off of the car. He apologizes to his classmates (who probably were more shocked than amused), his teacher (who was certainly not at all amused), and especially the unseen car lot attendant, armed with the Windex and paper towels, who was probably cursing his job as he had to lean over and touch a stranger’s saliva. I’m very sorry.
