Tears of the Black Tiger
Tears of the Black Tiger
Film review by: Witney Seibold
“Tears of the Black Tiger” belongs to a genre I have not yet encountered: the Sirkian Thai western homage.
Sunshine (2007)
Sunshine (2007)
Film review by: Witney Seibold
Not to be confused with Istvan Szabo’s wonderful 2000 film of the same name.
The Visitor (1979)
The Visitor
Film review by: Witney Seibold
“The Visitor” (1979) is one of those films that seems to have mutated during production.
Stunt Rock
Stunt Rock
Film review by: Witney Seibold
You like stunts? Sure, we all do. Especially stunts that center on setting a guy on fire and them throwing him off a cliff.
Hairspray (2007)
Hairspray (2007)
Film review by: Witney Seibold
The 1988 John Waters original “Hairspray” was the director’s first PG-rated, family-friendly film, despite the presence of notorious drag queen Divine, and Waters’ own usual affection for freaks, weirdos and outsiders. I suppose if any Waters film could fit comfortably on the stage, it would be “Hairspray.” Although, a musical version of “Female Trouble” would have been interesting.
Zodiac
Zodiac
Film review by: Witney Seibold
David Fincher’s “Zodiac” is not only one of the best films of the year, but probably one of the better crime films of the decade. I was a little afraid; I had seen a few dozen films, it was already March, and I had yet to see anything truly impressive. Then “Zodiac” came along and blew me out of the water.
Captivity
Captivity
Film review by: Witney Seibold
“Captivity” has finally hit theaters after months and month of delays, re-edits, and poster controversy (You may have heard the story about how the first version of the “Captivity” billboards was too grisly). It will probably vanish from the collective consciousness much more quickly. I heard it opened at #12 at the box office.
The TV Set
The TV Set
Film review by: Witney Seibold
“Everybody, I got bad news. We’ve been cancelled.”
“Oh no! How could they do that?”
“Unfortunately, there’s just no more room on the schedule. We have to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows like: ‘Dark Angel,’ ‘Titus,’ ‘Undeclared,’ ‘Action,’ ‘That ‘80s Show,’ ‘Wonderfalls,’ ‘Fast Lane,’ ‘Andy Richter Controls the Universe,’ ‘Skin,’ ‘Girl’s Club,’ ‘Cracking Up,’ ‘The Pitts,’ ‘Firefly,’ Get Real,’ ‘FreakyLinks,’ ‘Wanda at Large,’ ‘Costello,’ ‘The Lone Gunmen,’ ‘A Minute with Stan Hooper,’ ‘Normal, Ohio,’ ‘Pasadena,’ ‘Harsh Realm,’ ‘Keen Eddie,’ ‘The Street,’ American Embassy,’ ‘Cedric the Entertainer,’ ‘The Tick,’ ‘Louie,’ and ‘Greg the Bunny.’”
“Is there no hope?”
“Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes, we might have a shot.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Film review by: Witney Seibold
I have not read any of the Harry Potter novels, and I do not intend to until I’ve seen all seven of the proposed “Harry Potter” films. I have rather liked most of the films to date, you see, and I’d rather keep my cinematic experiences pure; I don’t want to be the niggling Potterhead who whines about minutiae that have been altered or omitted in transition from page to screen.
The Orphic trilogy
The Everyday God
Film essay by: Witney Seibold
Orpheus with his lute made trees,
And the mountain tops that freeze,
Bow themselves, when he did sing:
To his music plants and flowers
Ever sprung; as sun and showers
There had made a lasting spring.
About the author.
When Witney Seibold was about 10 years old, he got in trouble for spitting on a new car. Witney wants his teachers and classmates to know that he was not a mean-spirited or unhappy child, and only did this to make his fellow classmates laugh. His classmates were, you see all merely pretending to spit on the line of new cars they were walking by, and Witney thought he could do them one better by actually doing it.
When thinking back on it, he realizes that some poor schmo working at the new car lot would have had to clean his spit off of the car. He apologizes to his classmates (who probably were more shocked than amused), his teacher (who was certainly not at all amused), and especially the unseen car lot attendant, armed with the Windex and paper towels, who was probably cursing his job as he had to lean over and touch a stranger’s saliva. I’m very sorry.
